My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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