can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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