how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
