It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize