But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
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My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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