guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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