I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
