i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
