It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
