I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
