just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
