Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drunk is not a location!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize