Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
