I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
