You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
