sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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