Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
