yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
