Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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