The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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