quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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