In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
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