It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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