i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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