So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
