im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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