The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
