dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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