I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize