I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
