garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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