He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
