I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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