Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
