Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
