i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
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