your thong is hanging out like whoa
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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