I feel like abortions should bother me more
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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