I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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