A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
