the condom got lost in my hair
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
