I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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