How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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