I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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