i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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