Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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