11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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