i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
