I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
