I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize