listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
