What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize