Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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