just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
