I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
