we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
did i just pee glitter
I supernannyed him into submission
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize