we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
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I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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