So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
