Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
