He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
