now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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