we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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