What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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