I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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