so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
