Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂