i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.