I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.