Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.

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  (704): So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material. http://tfl.nu/5qwl
  Replies (13) Good night (2127) Bad night (573)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I wish i was in the wii world.

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  (402): I wish i was in the wii world. http://tfl.nu/send
  Replies (5) Good night (2630) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

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  (219): Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role http://tfl.nu/5zob
  Replies (14) Good night (814) Bad night (3888) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.

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  (604): She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows. http://tfl.nu/2hzy
  Replies (8) Good night (1021) Bad night (3853) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.

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  (303): this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now. http://tfl.nu/u25e
  Replies (13) Good night (768) Bad night (4494)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.

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  (605): woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fadr
  Replies (7) Good night (3270) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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  (808): I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup. http://tfl.nu/a5xy
  Replies (4) Good night (761) Bad night (1511) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.

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  (646): HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS. http://tfl.nu/gw0q
  Replies (21) Good night (3070) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.

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  (201): Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain. http://tfl.nu/l4y5
  Replies (11) Good night (2550) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.

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  (250): when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success. http://tfl.nu/50hi
  Replies (9) Good night (1586) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat

  (830): View more from Texas

  You are so not ready for motherhood

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  (210): Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat (830): You are so not ready for motherhood http://tfl.nu/j27j
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (1659)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  DOWN HORMONES. BACK.

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  (778): DOWN HORMONES. BACK. http://tfl.nu/nnqc
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.

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  (860): They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/lsvs
  Replies (4) Good night (2206) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

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  (918): I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated. http://tfl.nu/rg2y
  Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (219)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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  (817): I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/nj2j
  Replies (4) Good night (275) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt

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