I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in