I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.