Texts From Last Night

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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!

  (1-228): View more from Mississippi

  brownberry?

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  (228): Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!! (1-228): brownberry? http://tfl.nu/y1s8
  Replies (19) Good night (1351) Bad night (5968)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.

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  (540): I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it. http://tfl.nu/dv65
  Replies (45) Good night (11022) Bad night (2611)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.

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  (204): Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever. http://tfl.nu/wklp
  Replies (28) Good night (5621) Bad night (1516)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.

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  (613): You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best. http://tfl.nu/snhs
  Replies (5) Good night (2757) Bad night (1691)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.

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  (817): In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles. http://tfl.nu/ov1n
  Replies (14) Good night (1365) Bad night (4569)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.

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  (219): THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA. http://tfl.nu/qipd
  Replies (2) Good night (2506) Bad night (1063)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.

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  (248): My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment. http://tfl.nu/qz9q
  Replies (17) Good night (3928) Bad night (693)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..

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  (+64): I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom.. http://tfl.nu/wie2
  Replies (6) Good night (1266) Bad night (608)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Ya that ship has sailed dude

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  (317): The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh. (1-317): Ya that ship has sailed dude http://tfl.nu/5hyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (464)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.

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  (479): I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk. http://tfl.nu/vgj4
  Replies (7) Good night (1152) Bad night (356)
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  (310): View more from California

  Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.

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  (310): Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/3hkr
  Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (527)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.

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  (719): your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well. http://tfl.nu/esbu
  Replies (5) Good night (1040) Bad night (329)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY

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  (412): GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY http://tfl.nu/10da
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (320)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime

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  (+61): We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime http://tfl.nu/tsil
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure

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  (678): If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure http://tfl.nu/x8g2
  Replies (0) Good night (586) Bad night (231)

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