but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.