Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Right on... I dropped my chapstick

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I blacked out

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  (773): Right on... I dropped my chapstick (269): I blacked out http://tfl.nu/qsqj
  Replies (1) Good night (1296) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  we need a boat to join in

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva

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  (248): The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!! (1-248): we need a boat to join in (248): Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva http://tfl.nu/6n2t
  Replies (3) Good night (1294) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just fell off a train. Bad.

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  (512): Just fell off a train. Bad. http://tfl.nu/32cv
  Replies (3) Good night (871) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?

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  (248): Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back? http://tfl.nu/so4j
  Replies (10) Good night (865) Bad night (1572)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.

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  (209): Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball. http://tfl.nu/0g16
  Replies (13) Good night (1334) Bad night (1858)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not

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  (678): i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not http://tfl.nu/pxco
  Replies (11) Good night (3036) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  you thought your balls were fighting each other...

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  (815): you thought your balls were fighting each other... http://tfl.nu/ci9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4157) Bad night (1850)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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  (718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33
  Replies (5) Good night (3507) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.

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  (276): Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you. http://tfl.nu/pes1
  Replies (7) Good night (2918) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Found your dick twin last night

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  (402): Found your dick twin last night http://tfl.nu/4id4
  Replies (5) Good night (2221) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating

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  (262): At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun (262): Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating http://tfl.nu/mni7
  Replies (9) Good night (2069) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (8) Good night (1824) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.

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  (303): Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics. http://tfl.nu/jbty
  Replies (7) Good night (1071) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?

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  (519): Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot? http://tfl.nu/ltik
  Replies (3) Good night (428) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".

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  (508): We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them". http://tfl.nu/eeyg
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (295)

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