Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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