I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
