Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
