I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize