We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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