You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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