I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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