and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
